~Wooz69

...

Shipping to the New World today, see you in September.

So, my website, [link] is down *again*

Looks like I'm going to look elsewhere, and will have to pay for a server just like everyone else.

Can stray these messengers from their duty".

I hate using fatcaps in rainy weather.

So, Spam.

Everybody gets it, everybody hates it, everybody's sick and tired of failing antispam filters and getting "DO YOU WANNA BIGGAR PENIS?!!" or if I want to buy V1.4gra. Other mails are sneakier, and pretend to be paypal accounts or e-bay notifications. Then there are the true classic "Nigerain Rouylty" dudes asking for a modest sum of twenty thousand bucks in order to recover their gazillion dollar fortune, which we will supposedly share with you. Honest. Never mind we can't spell "Nigerian" or "Royalty" properly.

Today, I got one of the funniest spam mails I've ever seen. I'll copy paste it here for your viewing pleasure.

It came from some "Anastasia" which, oddly has an email addy of, woe and behold, Gaylord@loveonlyme.com.

Yes. *Gaylord*.

So, here it goes. I edited out the trap-website, obviously.



Anastasya <Gaylord@loveonlyme.com>
to Friedrich


Good time of the day

I can imagine that you will wonder to get today the letter from unknown,
but pretty woman from such far country like Ukraine.
As for me I could not yet believe that I write to foreign man whom I don't
know, but whom I do want.
The reason of my letter is very simple: I want to find my love, my soul
mate, that is why I am here.
I decided to try to find love with you. I feel with all fibres of my soul
that you are descent man and your heart is kind and is able to love.
You may ask me how I know. I will tell you that I have well-developed
intuition and my intuition chose you among thousands. and I want you to
become the One...
I ask you not to ignore my letter and not to throw it to the rubbish bin.
Read it, please, as attentively as you can. I am as serious as i have never
been.
I am fed up to be lonely and to feel jelous if I see loving couples.
I want to scream, I want to cry, but I doing nothing I won't change
situation.
If love don't come to me, I want to invite love to come into my heart.
And that is why I need to find my soul mate.
If you agree to help me to find love, become my soul mate -write me, I
will wait at ------------

Waiting for your reply

Nastenka





My name's not fucking Friedrich. And Ukraine is next door. Also, "Good time of the day"? Heh. Someone screwed their spam script right there. And I am already The One. I must've played Fallout over a dozen times.

So no, Gaylord Nastenka! I didn't throw your e-mail to the rubbish bin. I posted it on Deviantart for everyone to see and laugh at your pathetic whiny piece of attention whoring spam.

All in all, I'm not a "descent" man. To your kind, I am an asshole. And men accepting love invitations from suspicious, unknown women East of the Bug river usually end up with interesting spots on their wangers.

Yours Truly,

Woozie <3